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Dear parents and
caregivers,
Welcome to the first
Children Lights' newsletter of 2006! This year starts with a powerful wave
which will help spread information and resources to many families
and educators: "The INDIGO Evolution" documentary.
"The INDIGO Evolution" premiers the last
weekend in January all around the world. This is an exciting
event, where leading experts talk about the new
children phenomenon and how to best help today's children. I
encourage you to attend this important event. For details, see
below.
This month's
message,"9 Conscious Parenting Tips," which will be
featured in the
Children of the New Earth
e-magazine's upcoming February issue, offers practical parenting tips for
parents and teachers. These tips and reminders present some of
the changes in the parenting paradigm that today's children need.
Conscious Parenting helps children feel understood, empowered and
appreciated, creating a positive home environment for both parents
and children.
I am excited to be
offering two workshops ("Indigos & Highly Sensitive Children" and
"Conscious Parenting") in February/March in New Hampshire, USA.
Also, I am now offering Family Coaching specializing in Indigo
Children to assist parents who are looking for guidance and clarity
in parenting their children. You can visit my "Services &
Classes" webpage for more information.
I would like to
welcome all of our new subscribers and thank all of you for joining the
Children Lights' e-Newsletter. It is my intention that you
gain insights, resources and ideas that will help you take care of
your children in even more empowering and effective ways.
Blessings & Love,
Dumari Dancoes
________________________________________________
MONTHLY MESSAGE:
9 Conscious Parenting Tips: Effective Strategies for Parenting
the New Children
 Children have changed
dramatically in the last 25 years. The new generation of children
thinks differently and is more sensitive to others’ emotional energy
and intentions. They are more intuitive and spiritually aware. They
can tell when people are being honest and straightforward with them.
Children today need respect and democracy. They expect explanations,
as well as open and honest communication.
Parenting today’s children is no easy task and certainly one that is
not to be taken lightly. It requires us to be more conscious of how
our actions and beliefs affect our children, as well as ourselves
and others.
Our children need Conscious Parenting and a supportive home
environment, where they feel understood, valued, powerful, and
loved.
9 Tips to Consciously Parent Today’s
Children:
1. Treat them with RESPECT.
Respect, defined as “willingness to show consideration or
appreciation” by The American Heritage® dictionary, is essential
when addressing our children. Respect from your children cannot be
demanded or expected, it must be earned. Respect needs to be
modeled. If you do not show it to them, they will not give it to
you, despite your position of authority. If you yell at your child,
don’t expect her to speak respectfully to you. If you take a toy
away from your child forcefully, don’t be surprised when she does it
to you.
It may help you to see your child as a beautiful, courageous and
loving being, given to you to guide and support in her young years,
as well as a teacher who can teach you about yourself and what is
really important in life.
2. LISTEN to their opinions.
Children need to know you care and value their thoughts and
preferences. Ask them what they think and really listen, without
judging. Acknowledge their frustrations and show empathy, just as
you would if it was your friend expressing her discomfort or
complaint. Even when your child is upset at something that is not
important to you, empathize with them anyway. For example, your 4
year old wants more than anything else to have his 6 year old
brother’s race-car. Instead of shutting him down, acknowledge his
feelings and get to the “driver” of what he wants. Work toward a
solution that may be something totally different, but just as
fulfilling. In the end, it may not be the race-car he needed, but
his mother/father’s attention instead.
3. Explain WHY.
The easiest way to earn children’s cooperation is by having them
understand why you are requesting a certain behavior or action.
Telling them why also gives them the information they need to make
their own choice in a similar situation in the future. For instance,
instead of saying, “Turn the music off now!” offer a reason that
makes sense to them. Like, “…because your sister is trying to
sleep.”
Even though most times you will gain your child’s cooperation when
sharing your reason, be aware that they might not agree with it. In
this case, listen to their reasons. This moment then becomes an
opportunity to discuss the issue. Don’t be surprised if they give
you an idea of how to achieve the same goal in a different way. To
use the example above, your child might say, “Can I put on
headphones instead?”
4. EMPOWER them.
Find useful ways for your children to feel valuable and powerful.
Always physically get to your children’s level when you talk to
them. Bring them up to your level or get down to theirs. Ask your
children to teach you something (like how to draw like them) or to
share something with you.
Offer choices. Choices help children feel in control and powerful.
Just make sure that when you give choices they are ones you are in
agreement with. For instance, “Would you like to wear your red
pajamas or your blue pajamas?” “Would you like to leave in 3 minutes
or 5 minutes?” “Would you like a piggy back ride to bed or do you
want to be a wheel barrow?” If they offer a third option, and that
option is OK with you, go with it.
5. Find ALTERNATIVES to PUNISHMENT.
Fear and force are ineffective tools to motivate others, including
children. Punishment, including the traditional “time-out,” tries to
control a child’s behavior through an outside source. It has the
illusion of being effective because it may be, but only in the short
term. Imposing a punishment does not develop self-responsibility in
a child, instead children become compliant or resistant and
resentful.
Some alternatives to punishment are:
a) self-calming place: a place where
you or your child can go to when your emotions have escalated and
you need to achieve a peaceful state of mind in order to find a
solution to a problem. Your child’s self-calming space will have
things to help her quiet down on her own, like a special blanket, a
stuffed animal, playdough, or LEGOs®. Allow your child to choose the
items for this space. If your child is having an emotionally intense
moment, you can lovingly and gently guide her to her self-calming
space and tell her to come out when she is ready to find a solution.
Hint: the best way of teaching this strategy is to model it
yourself.
b) natural consequence: flows out of
events without you having to do anything to interfere. For example,
your child does not want to wear a jacket when going outside to play
in the winter. You do not make her wear it; she will experience the
cold herself. (Only use natural consequences if it is safe!).
c) logical consequence: occurs when you
and your child decide together what the solution to a problem will
be. Together you may come up with a list of items and write them
down to help you decide on the best option. You both agree on a
consequence that is logically related to your child’s behavior. For
example, your child breaks a neighbor’s window. Instead of punishing
him, your child decides to mow the neighbor’s lawn and wash his car
several times to repay the cost of repairing the window.
d) Mini-logical consequence: happens
when you make a spontaneous decision without discussing it with your
child. The consequence is logically related to the child’s behavior.
This can happen when your child spills a glass of milk, and without
making any negative remarks, you hand her a cloth to clean it up.
You can also ask her what she can do differently next time to avoid
the accident.
These alternatives to punishment teach responsibility and internal
control. Another benefit is that your child feels that she is
treated fairly and with respect.
6. Encourage NEGOTIATION to achieve WIN-WIN
solutions.
When in a power struggle with your child, find ways to allow both of
you to get what you want and be happy with the end result. This
requires that each of you listen intently to what the other wants,
while staying committed to your own wish or need.
For example, while arguing with your child about the mess of toys in
the living room, stop and say, “I see that your solution of leaving
the toys on the floor is great for you to win. I want you to win,
too. I also want a clean living room. How can we do this so that
both of us can win?” Continue looking for a solution until both of
you are satisfied with one.
Effective negotiation is an incredibly helpful skill to have. Your
children can use it with each other, with friends, and with anyone
they encounter. Imagine what the world would be like if business and
world leaders would find win-win solutions for all their power
struggles! Our children are the leaders of tomorrow, encourage them
to find win-win solutions starting today.
7. Have FUN together. Remember to PLAY with
your child!
It is so easy for parents to get very involved with the day-to-day
responsibilities—work, taking care of the children, homework,
extracurricular activities, grocery shopping, etc.-- and forget to
enjoy the simple moments and have fun. Play is a wonderful way to
connect with your child and your own inner child as well!
Research shows that unstructured playtime is essential to children’s
neurological development. It is actually necessary for our
development and well-being, both child and parent. Make a playdate
with your child or take advantage of a spontaneous moment to have
fun. You may let your child choose what to play and let him lead!
Make sure to do this several times a week. It does not have to be a
whole game of baseball, just a period of time to make positive
connections with your child.
8. Connect with your DIVINE GUIDANCE.
Use your “mother’s intuition” to guide you. By the way, dad’s have
it too! Your intuition is a great tool that you have available to
help you make from every day decisions to important ones. Your
intuition can help you answer questions like, “what type of food is
best for my child at this moment?” “Which doctor would be most
compatible with my family’s needs and beliefs?” and “My child is not
feeling well today, should she go to school anyway?”
Your intuition connects you to higher guidance and spiritual
helpers. You might call this help God, Higher Self, Creator, Angels,
Jesus, Mother Mary, etc. It doesn’t matter what you call it, you
will recognize it because it brings you a feeling of love and peace.
We have much spiritual help available, we just need to ask for it
and trust that it is given.
When you ask for divine guidance, your requests are always answered.
So after asking for divine assistance, pay attention to any visions,
feelings, words or knowing you experience at that moment and in the
following weeks. For example, you might be guided to someone or
something (like a book) who would give you the “answer” you are
looking for. Another benefit is that as you follow your inner
guidance, you encourage your child to do the same!
9. Ask, “WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?”
Conscious Parenting requires us to parent from the heart. The most
important point to remember is to set the intention to have LOVE
guide you in everything you do. When faced with a question, choice,
or a moment of struggle (maybe a power struggle with your child),
stop and ask yourself, “What would love do?” Then, pay attention,
because you will receive an answer. Your energy will change and your
experience will change. Setting your intention on choosing love will
benefit all involved, including yourself!
Many times we think and act based on fear (the opposite of love).
This brings to us disappointment, dis-ease, and unfulfilling
experiences. Asking, “What would love do?” helps us to choose from a
place of love, therefore creating experiences that bring us joy,
happiness, peace and fulfillment.
 Miracles occur when you
act from love. Our children know this. Let’s partner with them in
creating a world based on Love, starting at home!
Our children are a precious gift! Enjoy
the blessed opportunities to BE with them. Remember to be patient
with yourself. Conscious Parenting is a process. Relax, have fun and
play!
______________________________________________
THE INDIGO EVOLUTION
documentary
I invite you to join many people
around the world, who will be watching "THE INDIGO EVOLUTION"
documentary during its premier the weekend of January 27th -
January 29th.
In "The INDIGO Evolution," you will hear from leading experts from
around the world that this is much more than an imaginary fancy. The
Children are real, and they are changing the world. Director James
Twyman takes us on a journey into one of the most important
questions of our day: "Has the human race finally evolved to a
higher reality?"
Interviews with some of the most
profound children on the planet today combined with discussions with
authorities in the fields of medicine, psychology, education,
philosophy, and religion will provide information for the viewer
about this phenomenon and how to best help today's children. For more information about this
documentary and centers around the world that will be hosting it, visit
www.theindigoevolution.com.
I will be
answering questions about Indigos at the "The
Indigo Evolution" premier presentation the weekend of January 27th -
January 29th at Amethyst Wyldfyre
in NASHUA, NH.
To purchase tickets, call Amethyst at (603) 594-2744.
_____________________________________________
Upcoming Workshops (with
Dumari Dancoes)
The following classes are being
held at Amethyst Wyldfyre in Nashua, NH. To register for any of these
classes, visit
www.amethystwildfire.com or call
(603) 594-2744.
Indigos & Highly Sensitive Children
 (with
Dumari Dancoes)
This
full day, experiential workshop provides practical
information, tools and resources to support today's children.
- Gain an understanding
of who the "New Children" (Indigos & Crystals) are.
- Learn to identify Indigo
& Crystal children.
- Discover practical ways
to support the new children.
- Learn effective
strategies to deal with physical, emotional, and spiritual
sensitivities.
- Connect with your
intuition to determine how to best help your children.
DATE: Sunday, February 5, 2006 (10 am - 5 pm)
COST: $85 (workbook included)
To register and more info, click here>>
Conscious Parenting...for a New Paradigm
(with
Dumari Dancoes)
"Conscious Parenting... for a new
paradigm" is a powerful course that teaches practical parenting
skills. The course seeks to lead and accelerate empowering and
positive change in the world by recreating the worldview beliefs
about parenting; as well as to foster an understanding of the Indigo
child.
DATE: Saturday, March 25, 2006 (10 am - 5 pm)
COST: SINGLE $100 & COUPLE $175
(workbook included)
To register and more info, click here>>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upcoming Trainings (with
Karen Curry - from
www.JoyfulMission.com)
"The parenting techniques I've
learned at the Empowered Family Training
have given me the practical tools and self-confidence I needed to
help my own family, as well as other families, as a Family Coach.
I'm already seeing positive changes in my children's behavior and
the over all sense of peace and cooperation in my home. Thanks to
this class and the Indigo Family Coach
Training, I'm able to confidently fulfill my life purpose of
helping children and their families. Thank you Karen,
Dumari "
Karen Curry is offering these two trainings again! Take
advantage of this opportunity to better understand and parent your
child.
Empowered
Family Tele-class (with Karen Curry)
This is a powerful class for parents!
Attend the Empowered Family Training
tele-class and learn practical skills to help you:
- Feel confident about your parenting skills
- Prevent misbehavior and power struggles
- Parent for high self-esteem
- Develop Self Motivated Children
- Develop Mutual Respect
- Co-Parent with Ease
DATE:
Tuesdays beginning January 24, 2006 (8 sessions)
TIME: 12:00-2:00 p.m. CST (all sessions are
recorded)
COST: $347.00
To register, click here>>
Indigo Family Coach Certification
Tele-Training & Apprenticeship Program
(with Karen Curry)
 If you feel called to help the "new"
children and their families, want to become an advocate for Indigo
families facing educational and medical challenges, and/or wish to
help parents face their most difficult parenting challenges, then
this training is for you!
Participants will:
1. Gain an in depth
understanding of current evolutionary trends in children
(i.e., gifted and ADD/ADHD traits).
2. Expand on their
understanding of normal child development and the
development of the family.
3. Gain insight and
understanding about the spiritual life of Gifted and ADD/ADHD
children and how it impacts on development, sleep and education.
4. Learn how to use the
Emotional Freedom Techniques with parents and children.
5. Learn how to use various
assessment tools including intuition, DAT (Draw a Tree)
and the Human Design System to evaluate a family.
6. Gain an in-depth
understanding of the impact of psychoactive medications on
children and how to support families in getting off these
medications.
7. Learn how to support and
become advocates for families in the school system.
8. Gain an extensive
understanding of marketing strategies to help support and
promote their practice.
DATE:
Thursdays beginning January 26 - June 22, 2006 (5 months)
TIME: 12:00-2:00 p.m. CST (all sessions are
recorded)
COST: $1,497.00
For more information and to register, click here>>
________________________________________________
New Books
.jpg) EFT for Parents
by Karen Curry
EFT
For Parents is a complete step-by-step instruction manual that
teaches you to use this powerful technique to make your job as a
parent easier. The Emotional Freedom Techniques is a meridian based
accupressure technique that has been shown to significantly reduce
pain, stress and trauma and is one of the most effective parenting
tools available today.
EFT has been powerfully successful in helping children with:
Attention Deficit Disorder
Bedwetting
Nightmares
Separation Anxiety
Troubles in School
Messy Rooms
Bedtime Struggles
Pain Relief
Trauma Reduction
Speech Problems
Developmental Challenges
Asthma
and much more!
You are not alone on your parenting journey!
COST: $29
To order click here >>
---------------------------------------------
 Children's
Reiki Handbook
by Pamela & Robert Yarborough
Reiki is an ancient system of healing
through the “laying on of hands” that is simple enough for children
of all ages to learn. The Children’s Reiki Handbook is a guide to
energy healing that provides kids with the information they need to
prepare for their first Reiki attunement; and shows them how to use
their new skills to heal themselves and others.
To order click here >>
________________________________________________
About Dumari Dancoes
 Dumari Dancoes is the founder
of Children Lights. Her desire to help humanity,
especially children, led her to become a Certified Parent Educator
with the International Network for Children and Families and
a Family Coach specializing in Indigo Children. She is a
Certified Spiritual Counselor and an Angel Therapy Practitioner
™
trained by Doreen Virtue, PhD (author of The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children and
Divine Guidance). Dumari co-leads the Southern New
Hampshire chapter of the Holistic Moms Network, a national
organization for parents interested in mindful parenting and
natural health.
Dumari assists parents in supporting
and empowering their children by offering family coaching, parent
consultations, spiritual counseling/readings, and workshops that
focus on conscious parenting, spiritual and intuitive
gifts, and Indigo/Crystal children.
_______________________________________________
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